A Boring Day Gone Awry
by Nova-chan
Summary: The gang visits a museum. Embarrassing and otherwise hilarious situations occur. All canon couples, plus Mark and a caveman! This time, someone falls thru a window, someone gets shot, someone gets stabbed, lots of fun!
1. Of cavemen and fancy hats

NoV: Here's to my first Rent fic! (toasts a liquid that looks suspiciously like cran-apple juice) Be gentle in reviews. My characters may not be up to your normal standard of Rent-fiction, but they're still prototypes to me.

--

Quote of the day:

"I miss New York. I still love how people talk to you on the street – just assault you and tell you what they think of your jacket."

-Madonna

--

Another boring Saturday. The group was lazing around the loft with nothing to do but wait until the evening when they could go out and enjoy the nightlife. Maureen and Joanne were silently draped across the couch. Maureen was tinkering with a rubix cube, with her head resting on Joanne's lap. Joanne was browsing through the newspaper, twisted in an uncomfortable position, so the newspaper wasn't covering Maureen's head. Collins was napping in a recliner, his head leaning back toward the floor. He would definitely wake up with a cramp. Angel was drumming a beat on her bucket, sitting Indian-style on the floor (a very delicate maneuver in a mini-skirt.) Roger, with his guitar in his lap, was gnawing on a candy bar, staring whimsically out the window. Mimi was leaning against Roger's shoulder, wishing she had something to get her high, but trying to be good for Roger's sake. Mark, always the venturous one, was cleaning his camera lens, as if it were the crown jewels.

With a sigh and probably a mixture of withdrawal and hunger, Mimi stood up and began pacing the room. No one paid that much attention to her until she cried, "I'm SO bored!!" She huffed and glowered at the surprised faces staring at her. "Let's go do something, ANYTHING!!"

"Wanna go try on dresses at department stores?" Angel wondered, perkily.

"Not if we can't buy them!" Mimi whined. "It makes me depressed…."

"You just said you'd do anything!" Angel said.

"We could go have a few drinks," Maureen suggested, never moving from Joanne's lap.

"No," Mimi said. "If I start drinking this early, I'll never make it to work tonight, and I won't lie to you. I reeeeaaallly need the money."

"You could go with me to pick up some more film," Mark said. "I'm running low…."

"Mark, no offense, but if I wanted to be bored to death, I'd rather stay here and do it," Mimi replied.

"Speaking of bored to death," Joanne said, her eyes on her newspaper, "the museum's opening a new exhibit today. 'Margo Fletcher's Silk Hats.'"

Angel gasped and jumped up. "Margo Fletcher's hats are here??" she cried, looking over Joanne's shoulder to see if it were true. She gasped again. "Oh my god! We _have_ to go!!!" The group, except for Collins who was still sleeping, stared at her. "You don't know who Margo Fletcher is?" Angel demanded, stomping a spike heel into the floor. "She's a genius! She's poignant, fabulous, perfect! She's a goddess!! If we don't go see the hats, I will kill myself," she promised.

Mimi shrugged. "It's better than sitting around here all day. I haven't been to a museum since I was a kid."

"Ooooh," Maureen mused. "Won't it be fun, pookit?" she asked of Joanne. "Paintings of naked ladies…."

"I'll go but just to make sure one of those naked ladies doesn't end up on our bedroom wall and you don't end up on the six o'clock news," Joanne said, folding her paper neatly and setting it down.

"Oh, one time I shoplift and you never let it go!" Maureen cried. "It was a fucking soda, not a priceless painting!"

"Don't start, Maureen," Joanne said, rubbing her temple.

"Come on, Rog!" Mimi said, now excited about the trip. She extended her hand to help him up from the floor.

"Do I have to go?" Roger wondered, letting himself be pulled up. Mimi had only to give him an evil look and he complied, saying, "Okay, okay fine. Let's go to a museum."

Angel pranced over to wake Collins. She gave him a shake, saying, "Wake up, sweetie, we're going to the museum!"

Collins sat up with a start, rubbing his sore neck. "What the hell?" he said. "Is this the apocalypse? How long was I asleep? What are you talking about, going to what museum?"

Angel gritted her teeth and said, "Margo Fletcher's hats, Collins!"

Collins immediately stood up. "R-right baby," he said, compliantly, having heard Angel's Margo Fletcher rants on many occasions, and wishing only to appease her hat obsession.

As the group clambered out the door, Mark sat watching them, still messing with his camera. He thought he was free. He thought they had forgotten….

"MARK!" Mimi yelled from the stairwell. "Get you ASS in gear!"

Other shouts of "If I have to go you have to go!" and "Come on Markie, it'll be fun!" spurred Mark to hop off his chair and follow them.

--

Soon the eclectic group was staring up at the Romanesque granite building. All the fine treasures held within beckoned them forward and they walked up the fifty steps to the front entrance. Once inside, the loud noise of the street was replaced by soft tones of the classical music played in the lobby. Mimi and Angel, holding hands as their giddiness could hardly be contained, led the group toward the exhibits. As they passed a small jar that said "Expected contribution $5," Angel remarked, "Honey they need to be giving _us_ the donation."

They all stopped and stood before the map of the museum, which told where and what the many fascinating displays were. No one but Mimi wanted to go watch Angel go wild over hats, so the two ran off by themselves to visit Margo's exhibit. Maureen dragged Joanne away toward the left corridor without a glance at the map, as if she could sense the naked ladies calling to her. Roger, Mark and Collins elected to start at the beginning and work their way through all the exhibits.

The beginning of the displays just happened to also be the beginning of time. The three friends looked around the room, which prominently showcased ancient weapons, cave drawings and a few life-size caveman and woman figurines.

"This is pretty weird without a tour guide," Mark said, reading a tablet that told about historians' concept of prehistory.

"Oh, hey, let's go get some of those headsets," Collins suggested. "You know, you plug it into these things," he indicated a virtual guide stand, "and it tells you what you're looking at."

"Yeah, that sounds better than the eerie silence," Roger agreed. "I'll go with you."

"I'd rather read," Mark announced.

"Okay, we'll be right back, dude," Roger said as he and Collins went back to the lobby.

Mark worked his way around the room, skimming through most of the guide tablets. He walked over to one of the caveman figurines and stared it at. He was eye level with the scraggly Neanderthal and after looking it up and down a few times, his curiosity got the better of him. It wouldn't hurt to touch the thing, surely not. He just wanted to know the texture the museum people had decided appropriate for a prehistoric man. Mark poked his finger to the man's shoulder. It was sticky. Really sticky. Mark began to panic when he couldn't pull himself away from it. He put his other hand on the mannequin's chest to try and get some leverage to force it away, but to no avail. Both his hands were now stuck. "What the hell?" Mark shout-whispered, not wanting anyone to happen upon this embarrassing situation. Why was this caveman so sticky? Had someone secretly covered it in super glue? Was he on candid camera or something? God, he hoped not.

Mark looked around the room in a frenzy, so very thankful that no one was around. Not wanting to go ask the museum people for help with their caveman attached to him, he pressed his knee against the caveman's thigh in a desperate effort to force it away from him. Struggling and grunting, he tried with all his might to push it off of him, but the thing was just so damn gooey! And now he had a new problem: his knee was stuck and he was losing his balance. The fall was inevitable. Mark had almost accepted it and didn't fight. He fell to the floor on top of the caveman, his face unfortunately landing on its sticky face. Lips against sticky lips. Now Mark was outraged. _Why, God, why??_ he shouted in his mind. Mark, unable to remove his hands, lips or knee began to violently thrust against the caveman, trying to will himself free.

That's when he heard, "Mark!" and froze. "Man, I know you haven't gotten laid in a while, but that guy's not even real." Roger and Collins stood, headphones around their necks, shaking their heads in disbelief at their friend. Mark was straddling a caveman figurine, had his lips pressed firmly against the plastic lips, and he appeared to be roughly humping it.

"We were only gone for two minutes!" Collins exclaimed. "If we had known you were this desperate….we would have fixed you up with somebody….good God…."

Mark, unable to look over at his friends, was getting angrier by the second at their accusations. Surely they were being sarcastic. "Umsta!" he tried yelling, meaning to say "I'm stuck!" but muffled by the current occupation of his lips.

"Did you just say gangsta?" Collins asked. "You think you're a gangster because you're making out with a plastic caveman?"

"ARRRGGH!!" Mark yelled, exasperated at the whole situation. He rocked back and forth, in a reckless attempt at freedom.

"Oh, he's stuck," Roger remarked, as if suddenly realizing that his friend wasn't really sex-crazed at a museum. He and Collins exchanged a mischievous look.

"Mark, wait here," Collins teased. "We're gonna go get your camera."

Mark yelled something indecipherable, but still nasty and irate.

"Calm down, Mark, we're only kidding," Roger said. He and Collins walked over, and each of them taking an arm, pulled with all their might to free Mark from the caveman. With a POP! Mark was free and the three of them went tumbling to the floor.

Mark jumped up, his face cherry-red, and glared at his companions. "You guys are jerks," he said.

"Hey, we saved you!" Roger dissented. "What if someone else had walked in here? You could have been arrested."

"You should be down on your knees thanking us," Collins taunted him.

"Let's get out of here. Maybe the dark ages aren't quite so sticky," Mark said, glad to put the situation behind him, but knowing he was in for weeks of endless teasing.

Roger and Collins followed him into the next corridor, where there were medieval weapons, tapestries and a few knight figurines. Collins remarked, "Uh, oh, we better not leave Mark alone again," to which Mark promptly flipped him off.

--

NoV: okay, that's enough for one chapter. What do you think? I was laughing so hard writing the part about Mark assaulting the caveman. So, tell me what you think, remembering that the OOC-ness is due to my lack of experience and the fact that this is a humor fic and some characteristics are caricatured. Let me know what you'd like to see in coming chapters!

Next time: Angel and Mimi and the hats, Maureen chokes, and Roger picks up a new addiction.


	2. Choking on lifesavers

NoV: Thanks to the overwhelming giggling reviews, I shall march on with the random insanity! Thanks for reviewing, minna! . I don't own lifesavers, by the way, thank God! Or Rent either….(is suddenly depressed)

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Quote of the day:

"Talk to the mirror, oh, choke back tears.  
And keep telling yourself that "I'm a diva!"  
-Panic at the Disco

--

Mimi couldn't understand Angel's fascination with the hats. They looked like really tacky, poorly designed, thrown together at the last minute hats. There were only six and each one was more hideous than the last. But God help her if she should say any such thing to Angel, who at the moment was having an out of body experience, and twirling around like a hypnotized fool.

"Oh, I never thought this moment would come!" Angel suddenly cried, startling Mimi. She walked over to the row of hats, her eyes sparkling and full of wonder.

"Yeah, how about that?" Mimi said, very bored.

"I think," Angel said, tears in her eyes, "that my life is complete now….." She continued to stare at the hats when a delightfully evil plan popped into her giddy head. "No wait! I know what'll make it complete once and for all." She turned around to give Mimi a devilish look. "Help me steal one." She moved to open up her purse to slide one of the hats inside.

"Angel!" Mimi yelled, taking the purse away from her. "You cannot steal a hat from the museum."

"But they're so pretty," Angel said dazedly.

"Well….maybe the museum has souvenir hats," Mimi suggested. "Exact replicas!"

"But it wouldn't be the same!"

"If you get caught stealing a hat, it'll be confiscated. And just think how disappointed Margo would be in you," Mimi said, hoping that this day wouldn't end with them both in jail….or a psych ward.

"Hmm…..you're right….let's go get souvenirs!" she exclaimed, changing her mood suddenly. Mimi didn't question it. She was glad to just get out of there, never to see one of those ugly hats ever again!

On the way out of the exhibit, Angel glanced at a pink flier that caught her attention. She froze, scanned the words on the paper several times. It couldn't be. No way…..could it?

Mimi noticed that Angel wasn't moving, and went back to wave her hand in front of the drag queen's face. "Angel, are you okay?" she wondered.

Angel gasped. "Mimi!" she cried. "Margo Fletcher is going to be here! She's going to be here at five o'clock to talk about the hats!"

Mimi looked at the clock on the wall. "But it's only eleven. Don't tell me we have to stay here for six more hours…."

The look on Angel's face told Mimi that she was going to be very bored for a very long time.

--

Roger, Mark and Collins met up with Maureen and Joanne at the Renaissance. Maureen was intently staring at a painting of a voluptuous and undressed woman, while Joanne read a tablet explaining its origin.

"Hey, you ladies enjoying yourselves?" Collins wondered, as they strolled up to the two women.

Maureen turned around and waved at them. "Yeah, this is like dirty magazines, but free and really peaceful."

"Yeah, well, I guess that's one way to look at it," Mark said, shaking his head. He found a packet of lifesavers in his pocket and popped one into his mouth.

"Oh, I want one!" Maureen exclaimed, holding her hand out. Mark plopped a red one into her hand. Maureen sucked on the candy, and turned back to the paintings.

"I wonder where Mimi and Angel are," Roger said, looking around the room.

"Knowing them, they're probably in trouble with the museum security for trying on those hats," Collins muttered.

"I'm getting hungry," Roger mentioned. "Hopefully we'll meet up with them in the deli for lunch."

"It's almost lunchtime now," Joanne said, glancing at her watch. "Why don't we go on down to the cafeteria and see if they're waiting. Ready to go Maureen?" she asked, patting Maureen on the back.

"Yeah, let's go," Maureen agreed. "But after lunch, I want to go visit the naked statues!"

"Why does that not surprise me?" Joanne sarcastically said.

Maureen giggled and unfortunately swallowed the lifesaver in the process. At the same moment she breathed in air, the lifesaver went down, decidedly following the wrong tube. The others turned to stare at her as she made gagging sounds, trying to force the candy out of her windpipe.

"What's wrong?" Mark wondered.

Maureen made the universal choking sign by wrapping her hands around her throat and trying to cough. She flailed her arms around incessantly as she couldn't breathe and was starting to feel lightheaded.

"Oh my god, she's choking!" Joanne cried. She made several attempts to wrap her arms around her choking girlfriend to try to do something to alleviate her suffering. But, not knowing quite how to dislodge the foreign candy, stepped back and frantically waved her arms at the others. "Somebody, help her!"

"What's she choking on?" Roger asked.

"A lifesaver!" Mark replied.

"Man, you can't choke on a _lifesaver_," Collins said, calmly. "Just like the hole in the inflatable lifesaver saves you from drowning, the hole in the candy gives you enough air so you can breathe through it until it melts."

"Well, that's all quite philosophical and intellectual," Joanne said, annoyed, "but still," she gestured toward Maureen, who was now prone to fainting, "she's choking!"

"I think I can do the heimlich maneuver," Mark offered, shrugging.

"Don't just stand there!" Joanne yelled. "Do it!"

Mark went over to Maureen, who was now clutching the wall to save herself from falling. He tried to subtly move behind her and wrap his arms around his waist. _God, this is awkward_, he thought. With a fist over her bellybutton, and another hand on top of that, he thrust with all his might into her stomach. Maureen convulsed, but continued to choke. Mark glanced at Roger, Collins and Joanne and then tried again to force the candy out of Maureen. This time it worked and the candy flew across the room, landing on a bench.

Mark immediately let go of Maureen and she staggered away, going to Joanne. Joanne held the quickly inhaling girl up, as Maureen struggled to get her breathing back to normal. Once she was back to normal, Maureen turned on the group. "What the hell, people?" she yelled. "You guys stood around forever before trying to help me!"

"We were shocked," Roger offered.

"I didn't think it was possible," Collins said.

"Hey, I helped!" Mark exclaimed.

"You're the one that gave me the thing!" Maureen reminded him.

"You asked for it!" Mark said.

Maureen huffed and was about to berate them all again, but Joanne impeded her efforts by saying, "Come along, honeydew, and I'll buy you a slice of pizza."

"With mushrooms?" Maureen asked, her anger suddenly forgotten.

"Of course," Joanne agreed. This seemed to pacify Maureen, so the two laced fingers and went to the stairwell in the middle of the room that led down to the cafeteria.

Collins, Mark and Roger exchanged a look and followed them.

--

Down in the modest food court, the gang sure enough met up with Mimi and Angel, who was _still_ going on about Margo's upcoming hat lecture. Mimi was mildly attentive to the discussion and apathetically chewing some kind of fruit snacks.

"Hello my pretty one," Collins said, sitting onto the bench next to Angel.

Without skipping a beat, Angel stopped the hat conversation with Mimi and began it with Collins. The peppy monologue went something like, "Mimi, can you even believe it? The most incredible, fabulous hat designer in the world is coming to speak! Collins, this is the day I've been waiting for! Ahhh! I'm so excited!"

Fearing that Angel might go into a coma if she continued to chatter with this much excitement, Collins said, "Baby, let's save that excitement for the day that actually happens, okay?"

Mimi cut it, "Oh, it's today. Make no mistake."

Collins began to sweat. He prayed that it wasn't true.

Angel looked into his eyes, her poorly contained enthusiasm greatly enhancing her face. "Couldn't you just die?" she asked.

Collins replied, truthfully, "Yes, I could."

While Maureen and Joanne were in line for pizza, Roger sat next to Mimi, trying to bum a few of her fruit snacks. He had a very low budget, what with having no job and no income whatsoever. Collins, with a laugh began to tell Mimi and Angel the story of Mark and the caveman. Mark put his head down on the table, embarrassed to no end. Roger was about to join in the retelling when from afar, he heard the words, "Free samples!" and was immediately drawn to the source. Whatever it was, he was going to eat it.

He followed the voice to a young woman with a modest vending cart. Her hair was tied back, hidden by a plain bandana. She looked to Roger very much like a gypsy. But no matter. She had free food.

"Would you like to try one, Mister?" she asked him, her voice silvery and hypnotic.

"Yeah," he said, as if to say "Duh!" With a smile, the girl handed him a small, pink, spherical piece of candy.

Regarding her with a nod, Roger popped the candy into his mouth and chewed it. With a knowing look, the gypsy-like woman watched as the sensations the candy could induce overcame the messy-haired young man before her. To Roger, this was the most incredible thing he had ever experienced! It was like until the moment that candy hit his tongue, he had not been living at all! It was better than drugs, it was better than money, it was better than sex! God, it was better than seeing Mark make out with a caveman against his will! Roger was hooked and the conniving tigress knew it, and was going to profit from it.

Roger nervously looked into the girl's eyes. "Um…" he said, sadly as the last of the candy melted away. "Can I have another?"

"Sure!" she replied, happily offering him a green one. As he reached for it, ecstatic that there would be more of the absolute pleasure, she said, "That'll be twenty dollars please."

Kill joy…. "What?" Roger demanded. "That's insane!" He looked for some indication that the girl was joking. No such luck. "Twenty dollars for _one_ piece of candy?" he cried, although he was searching for money in his pocket as he said these words.

"Inflation," she shrugged.

Roger muttered something about "fucking inflation," and tragically only produced ten dollars, even counting all the change he could pry from his pockets. He glanced over at his friends, still enjoying the story of Mark's caveman boyfriend and turned back to the gypsy. "Wait right here!" he ordered.

She watched as he ran off. "Don't worry," she said. "I'm not going anywhere….."

Back at the table, Collins was saying, hardly able to control his laughter, "We didn't know whether to leave the happy couple alone or take pictures!"

Angel and Mimi roared with laughter, as Mark wished to every god in the universe to make him disappear.

Everyone jumped when Roger suddenly appeared at the table. "Guys, ten dollars, please give me!"

Angel pulled a $10 bill from presumably nowhere and handed it to him, saying, "Here you go. What's it for?" But Roger was already dashing across the room back to the cart.

Collins shook his head. "Anyway…."

--

NoV: Yay! Chapter two, chapter two! (dances; then gets sick because she just ate) Eww….anyway, whatdya thunk? Guess what, today's my birthday! (dances some more) YAYY!

Next time (!): Collins hears a very eerie message from a scary, insane person. Mimi sits in something sticky. Angel breaks something.


	3. Do you really want to hurt me?

NoV: Yay, more reviews, more reviews! Thanks everyone for wishing me a happy birthday! I had a really great one!

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Quote of the day:

"Pray for the dead and fight like hell for the living."

-Mother Jones

--

Once Maureen and Joanne returned with enough pizza for everyone, Angel dropped the proverbial bomb on everyone. "We'll have to occupy ourselves until five when Madam Fletcher arrives, but I'm sure there's plenty to do."

This was news to Maureen and Joanne. The latter remarked, "Are you kidding? Stay in this place for—" she glanced at her watch "five more hours?"

"Well, some of us could leave earlier, and Angel can wait for the hat lady," Maureen suggested.

"No!" Angel whined. "Don't leave me by myself!"

After much debate and begging, everyone begrudgingly agreed to stay for Margo Fletcher's lecture. Angel was beaming, happy to have won the argument. The others were all dreading the next five hours in the museum.

Mimi stared at Roger's uneaten slice of pizza. "Where did Roger go?" she wondered aloud.

"Last I saw him, he was running across the room like a man possessed," Maureen mentioned with a shrug.

Then, as if referring to him had conjured him up, Roger appeared back at the table, now shaking and twitching and talking a mile a minute. "They're incredible! The best thing ever! The first one was delicious and pink! Then the green one was even better! But now she has a _purple_ one! I want it! Twenty dollars, somebody please! I have to have it!"

Mimi, fearful and having no idea what Roger was talking about, took him by the hand and made him sit down. "Roger, your hands are clammy!" she exclaimed, wiping her own hand on her skirt. "Look, Joanne bought you a slice of pizza." She pointed to the cooling slice.

"Pizza!" he spat, as if the very word was so vile and insolent that it made him cringe. "How dare you ask me to eat pizza when I have tasted the fruit from the tree of life!"

"Okay," was all Mimi could say.

"What have you been doing?" Mark asked, suspiciously, glad that the topic was not him and his "perverted sexual desires" for once.

"I have been living!" Roger yelled.

"Shh!" Mimi said. "People are gonna think you're nuts!"

"Oh, I'm not nuts now," Roger informed her. "But I was. Living my whole life without so much as a taste of those delicious, perfect candies." He sat there, his chin on his elbow, staring off into space. When he began to drool, Mimi thought it was best that they leave the cafeteria, the seeming source of his insanity. Once upstairs back in the Renaissance, Roger began to exhibit the effects of withdrawal.

Collins asked, "So, Roger, you up for a peek into the abstract wing?"

"Fuck you, you fucking anarchist!" Roger yelled.

"Roger, what's the matter with you?" Mimi asked in disbelief. She shook her head as she watched her boyfriend sit down on the floor and hug his knees.

"I can't live without them…." he moaned.

"We still don't know what you're talking about!" Maureen said. "You're freaking us out!"

"Well, you're freaking me out!" Roger snapped. "Wearing your hair all crazy….earrings and that tattoo…." He trailed off.

"Roger, if you don't stop scaring me, I am going to leave you here on the floor, talking to yourself," Mimi promised, crossing her arms.

"Fine, leave me in my misery!" Roger said. "Just like the candy did….."

"Are you talking about my fruit snacks?" Mimi asked, exasperated. "I've still got some." She pulled the half-empty packet out of her purse and offered it to him.

Roger took it sadly and said, "It won't be the same…." He ate a grape-shaped gummy and drooped. The others could only watch in confusion as he shook his head making a "Brrrrrr!" sound, as if sounding off the start of a conga, and got to his feet. He sighed, "I'm glad that's over."

"Did you just go through addiction and withdrawal in like five minutes?" Joanne wondered, the bravest of them all.

"That's what it felt like," Roger shrugged.

"Well, nothing like getting addicted to candy to liven up your day," Collins said. "So, who's up for abstract?" He cringed, wondering if Roger was going to scream at him again.

"I'm game," Roger said. Mimi and Mark agreed to go with them.

"No way! Naked statues for me," Maureen insisted, grabbing her pookie by the arm.

"Oooh, that sounds fun! Me too!" Angel cried.

Mimi sat down on a bench to tie her shoe. CRUNCH. Mimi grimaced. "Oh, god, I sat in something," she said. She stood up and turned her butt toward the others so they could tell her what it was.

Maureen frowned. "Oh…." she said. "That's the life saver I was choking on earlier today." The crushed red candy was stuck to the back of Mimi's skirt. Mimi turned her head and pulled her skirt around so she could like at it. She tried to pull the tiny pieces off but they were sticky like….a certain caveman that Mark knew.

"Ewww…" Mimi whined.

"Come on, girl," Angel said, taking Mimi by the arm. "We'll go to the ladies room to get cleaned up," she told the others. "I've gotta reapply my make-up anyway."

As the two walked back downstairs, Collins said, "We'll never see them again."

--

The three amigos once again stood together in a room full of art. Mark circled the room, looking for a piece of interest to him. Roger plugged his headphones into a random virtual tour guide stand and listened half-heartedly. Collins plugged his headphones into the stand in front of a garbled piece of flotsam called "La Crull."

Expecting the narrator to tell him something boring about the artist or the medium, Collins was surprised when instead he heard a chilling voice speak to him. "Hello, friend," it said. "I've been waiting…..hear that?" A thump-thump-thump sounded in his ears. "You're heart's beating faster…and faster….and faster….what are you afraid of, friend? I won't hurt you…."

"Hey, Rog!" Collins said, unplugging his headphones. "Come here." Roger abandoned whatever he was listening to and come over to Collins. "Plug your headphones in here," Collins instructed.

Roger did so, but only heard "La Crull was created in 1954 by artist Sanguon McNarthy…." Unplugging his headphones Roger said, "Yeah, so?"

"Didn't you hear the creepy voice?" Collins demanded. "Talking about your heart beat and how he wasn't going to hurt you?"

Roger shook his head and slowly backed away from his friend.

Collins had always known that something was a little quirky in his own brain, but surely he wasn't crazy. He plugged his headset back into the stand and listened again. "You shouldn't have done that….telling that bad man about me….now I'm going to have to kill you…."

"No, please don't kill me!" Collins shouted at the artwork, looking around for someone about to jump him. "I didn't mean it! Let's be friends!"

Of course by this time a small crowd had gathered to watch this man talking to an abstract piece of art. When Mark and Roger noticed the crowd they exchanged a look and went over to save Collins from himself.

"Can you hear me?" Collins was saying. "I said I'm sorry…please don't hate me!"

"Come on, Uncle Jed, it's time for your medicine," Mark said, as he and Roger took Collins by the arms and gave the crowd a pathetic look. The onlookers dissipated, accepting the situation as a crazy man who had missed his regimen.

Roger pried the headphones away from Collins. "Now, Collins," he said, calmly, "if you're going to go nuts and talk to the artwork, we're not going to bring you back to the museum anymore."

"There was a creepy voice!" Collins insisted. "Listen to it yourself."

Mark humored him and listened to the headphones himself. "Hi, I'm Arthur your virtual guide to the New York City Museum of Art. Thanks for joining me!"

"It's not that creepy," Mark said. "A little over-zealous maybe…"

Collins took a deep breath. "I think I'd feel better in the modern art section," he admitted.

"Okay, then let's go there," Roger said. "Whatever will keep you sane…."

--

Mimi and Angel walked out of the bathroom. Mimi had managed to salvage the skirt and threw away the candy pieces. Angel had reapplied her make-up, looking no different to anyone else, but to herself feeling very much improved. They split up at the Renaissance, Mimi walking on toward abstract art and Angel ascending the staircase to the third level where Maureen and Joanne were gaping at "erect" statues.

Angel bounded cheerfully up the stairs, having way too much energy after an already tiring day. As she approached the top of the staircase, she called out to Maureen and Joanne, who turned around and waved. Unfortunately, the situation was about to turn to catastrophe. Stiletto heels can only take so much, my friends. And one of Angel's heels decided that it couldn't take the pressure, so it collapsed, leaving a six-inch gap in height between Angel's left and right leg. Normally very stable and graceful, the combined efforts of the stair bouncing and the heel breaking threw Angel off her balance. She lurched backwards down the bottom of the stairs, her bum hitting nearly every step on the way down yet somehow managing to keep her skirt from flying up.

Maureen and Joanne both shrieked in terror as they saw Angel get smaller and smaller until they could no longer see her. Without a moment wasted the two raced downstairs after her. They found the toppled drag queen sprawled out on the floor at the bottom of the stairs, rolling her head around dizzily.

"Oh my god, Angel!" Maureen cried, taking her hand and stooping beside her on the floor. "Are you okay, baby?"

"Ahhh…." Angel said quietly. She sat up, shaking her head, then began to feel the shooting pain in her backside. "OWW!" she yelled, her voice echoing throughout the hallways. "My butt is broken!"

Joanne looked around for help. "Okay, don't panic!" she instructed, mostly to herself. "What would Collins do if he were here?"

Maureen helpfully said, "He'd probably say, 'Angel, baby you broke your booty!'" She affected the man's voice quite nicely.

"I'm going to call an ambulance," Joanne announced, ready to race off to find a telephone.

"No, wait!" Angel exclaimed. Joanne paused and looked back at her. "You can't do that! If I go to the emergency room, I'll be there for like twelve hours! I've gotta see the hats! I'll go to the hospital _after_ I see Margo's lecture."

"You broke your butt!" Joanne insisted. "You need x-rays and medical attention!"

"If you make me go to the hospital now, so help me, I'll strangle myself with my IV!" Angel threatened.

Maureen looked at Joanne, neither of them knowing what to do. "We'll talk to Collins," Maureen said, decidedly. "But if he says you have to go to the hospital, you're going."

"Sure, fine," Angel waved them off, knowing that she could manipulate her little Collins.

"How are we going to get her to Collins?" Maureen wondered. "As fun as it would be, I'm not carrying her around piggyback all day."

"The lobby had strollers. I'm sure they've got wheelchairs too," Joanne suggested. She went downstairs to grab a wheelchair.

--

NoV: Lalala, broken butt…..okay, well bad news, I probly won't be able to update again until Friday. I'm having a busy few days ahead, so, yeah….but when I update, you will be most pleased, I'm sure. .

Next time (!): Joanne gets electrocuted. Angel continues to have accidents. Something bad happens to something very old and expensive.


	4. Conveyer Belt of Imminent Death

NoV: Hmm, hmmm. Well, here's another chapter!

--

Quote of the day:

"Well, this is an enigma if ever I saw one…."

-NoV, six years old, on pantyhose

--

Joanne dutifully went about finding a wheelchair for the incapacitated Angel. Down in the lobby, she looked past the mass of strollers to a long conveyer belt that supplied wheelchairs for museum patrons who were old. Or clumsy. This museum, trying to be high-tech in order to get more funding and visitors, had installed this electronic conveyer belt to automatically move the next available wheelchair forward when a guest pressed a button to indicate that they needed one. Joanne, not being high-tech in any way whatsoever, didn't think of the button having any correlation with the wheelchairs themselves.

It was certain that the snoozing museum guard wasn't planning to help her, so Joanne stepped onto the conveyer belt and tugged at a wheelchair. The wheelchair was never meant to roll across the riveted metal surface, so as it was dragged along the friction caused the conveyer belt to go haywire. This sent a jolt of electricity into the wheelchair and subsequently into poor Joanne. The situation was not improved by her standing on metal. For what seemed like forever, Joanne stood frozen, unable to let go of the wheelchair, unable to move at all, just being electrocuted. No one seemed to take notice of the young woman, mouth agape, being knocked out with volts of electricity.

Finally, the machine short-circuited and shut down, and Joanne fell down, her hair frizzy and her mind in a daze.

--

Half an hour later, Maureen was pushing Joanne in a wheelchair, up on the second floor, where the rest of the group was looking at the modern art section. Angel had gotten a wheelchair too along with the security guard's pillow for her behind, but had to push herself along. Hearing the squeaking of the wheels caused the other members of the group not involved in the horrific accidents to turn around.

After the initial shock of seeing Maureen pushing a dazed and slightly burnt Joanne in a wheelchair, alongside Angel in her own wheelchair, Mimi was the first to find her voice. Rushing over to her three girlfriends, she cried, "Oh my god! What happened??"

The others all hurried over as well as Maureen tried to explain rather calmly and seemingly annoyed at the events. "Well, Angel fell down the stairs and broke her butt, but didn't want to go to the hospital. So, Joanne went to get a wheelchair, and somehow got electrocuted. The first aid office said she should be back to normal in an hour or so. It was probably just a few hundred volts."

Collins took Angel's hand in his. "My poor baby," he lamented. "You broke your…." But he couldn't finish as his lip was curling upward.

Angel took notice of this and said, "It's not funny, Collins."

Collins stifled a laugh. "I'm sorry….it is kinda funny."

Angel, feeling the sharp pain of a broken bottom, didn't falter on the issue. "No, it isn't."

Collins didn't want to anger his partner. He didn't want to cause an argument, especially not when she was injured and not thinking clearly. She might throw him out of the apartment, just for laughing at her broken butt. Or worse, she might let him stay, but refuse to talk to him. No cuddling, no kissing, no….. "Oh my god!" Collins suddenly yelled. "We're not gonna be able to have sex!!"

Now Angel began to giggle. "What's funny now?" Collins demanded.

Angel shifted slightly on the pillow. "That _is_ kinda funny," she admitted.

But Collins looked like he was about to cry. "B-but…..no sex…." he whined.

"Aww, poor baby," Angel said, now pitying her lover. She rubbed under his chin, like he was a cat. "Don't worry. We can still have….fun," she lamely said.

Roger was in the meantime waving a hand before Joanne's face. Seeing that she was unresponsive, he said, "Maybe you should have taken her to the hospital after all. She looks unconscious."

"Well, if she were conscious, I'm sure she'd insist that I take her to the hospital," Maureen admitted. "But, she's not! So, on to the dinosaurs!"

"Yay!" Angel exclaimed, a bit too excited despite the horrific affair of the stairs. In her excitement, she rolled over Mimi's open-toe shoed foot.

"Ow!!" Mimi screamed as she began hopping on her good foot. "MY TOE!!"

"Oh, no!! Mimi I'm sooo sorry!!!" Angel cried.

"No, no," Mimi said, more calmly, rubbing her toe with her fingers. "It's not broken. Don't worry…." Then under her breath, she added, "You should be more careful with that thing, god…."

--

The dinosaur wing was the museum's most recent addition, other than the meager annexing of Margo Fletcher's silk hats. With Maureen and Collins pushing Joanne and Angel along in their wheelchairs, the group entered the impressive display. From diagrams showing possible dinosaur physiology, to an electronic raptor continuously bending down to eat a herbivore, to actual reconstructions of some animals using their bones.

"Wow!" Maureen mentioned, looking at a paper mache-esque pterodactyl. "Look, Snookie!" she said to Joanne, as if talking to a five year old. "It's a dinosaur-bird!"

Joanne made a sound that sounded somewhat like a pterodactyl.

Maureen felt like, instead of pushing her girlfriend in a wheelchair, that she was pushing her child in a stroller. It felt fun. "Pookle, when you're back to normal, we're going to have a serious talk about children," she promised.

Joanne began to "Na-na" the tune to an Arabian gypsy song. Maureen went around to the front of her and looked into her bleary and emotionless eyes.

She smiled and said, "Come along, Pookie," as she pushed the deranged woman over to the group.

The mighty brontosaurus. Tall, lanky, herbivorous. It was unimaginable how painstaking it must have been to find and piece together all those bones. This massive creature was so tall that the museum had to rebuild that wing so it could encompass the mighty beast. The bohemian group all stared at the great dinosaur, stretching their necks way back to see the head.

Mark knew he shouldn't touch it. He definitely knew better than to touch anything in the museum after what had happened. He knew that if he did touch the brontosaurus, something bad would happen, something impossibly horrible and perhaps even embarrassing and painful. He knew he should resist all urges that told him to touch the dinosaur. Mark knew all these things.

But Joanne didn't.

On perhaps an impulse her brain fired off from the recent electrical surge, Joanne reached out and grabbed a bone from the brontosaurus. "It's osteoporosis!" she said, choosing very strange words to be the first since the electrocution.

Everyone stared at her in disbelief, as a loud rumbling was heard. Six heads turned to look at the mighty brontosaurus, which was becoming a mighty problem. After a mere moment of stunned silence as they stood staring at the shaking dinosaur, the whole grouped took off toward the emergency exit. They turned around just in time to see the head plummet to the floor and break into smaller pieces. The rest of the bones followed in similar fashion, only one leg remaining when it was all over. As other people milled around, staring in disbelief at what had happened, the nonconformist group took off before they were prosecuted.

Before they were completely in the clear, however, Maureen realized that Joanne still had the bone in her hand. "Pookit, give me that!" she cried, taking the bone and throwing it to the pile the other bones had fallen in. They then made their miraculous escape.

--

NoV: Yay! And Joanne destroys the dinosaur….I'll be able to update sooner this time, don't worry.

Next time (!): Joanne recovers from the electrocution, only to end up in a scary place; Mimi witnesses something horrific and….erotic; someone falls out a window; someone gets taken in by the gypsy with the addictive candy; someone gets stabbed; someone gets shot, and Margo Fletcher finally arrives to make her speech. That's not at all mysterious, is it?


	5. The end of the end

NoV: The final chapter! YAI!

Warning: This chapter contains some real life events and those involved must allow me to take creative license on them, thank you!

--

Quote of the day:

"Man, living in dust,  
Is like a bug trapped in a bowl.  
All days he scrabbles round and round,  
But never escapes from the bowl that holds him.  
The immortals are beyond his reach,  
His cravings have no end,  
While months and years flow by like a river  
Until, in an instant, he has grown old."  
-Han-Shan

--

Once back in the modern art section, Roger commented, "Well, now that we're probably going to go to jail, anyone want to go check out ancient China?"

"I want to," Mimi said, pitifully. "We haven't spent any time alone today," she added, giving the others a hint to go elsewhere.

"Well don't forget," Angel interjected, "Madame Margo Fletcher's brilliant lecture starts in two hours!" She gave an impossibly cute smile and said to Collins, "Let's go see the Fall of Rome, shall we?"

Collins smiled back, "Okay." He pushed her away toward the exhibit.

Maureen slapped Mark on the back. "Come on. You can go with me and Jo-Jo to the ancient weaponry exhibit."

"Yes, Mark, come with us…" Joanne agreed with a slight slur. Maureen patted her on the head.

Mark shrugged. "Fine with me," he said.

--

Roger and Mimi, the most uninjured couple of the day, stepped back into thousands of years of Chinese history. They saw gold statues from dynasties of long ago, a few wall hangings with Chinese lettering, beautiful fans and a couple of intricate lanterns.

"Isn't this nice?" Mimi wondered. "We hardly ever have any time when it's just us, you know?"

"Yeah," Roger agreed. "This is good."

Mimi couldn't help but smile as she leaned toward him for a chaste kiss. But, unfortunately, chaste kisses tend to lead to something more. And this one did just that. It wasn't long before Mimi and Roger were in all-out make out mode, oblivious to the world of Chinese culture around them. They walked around, attached at the lips, blindly searching for someplace to sit down where making out would be easier. At last they found _something_ to sit on and commenced a lip-smacking rampage that would make anyone want to stop and stare.

--

Angel and Collins made it all the way to the Fall of Rome when the water Collins had drank at lunch caught up with him, so to speak. Knowing only of one bathroom, down in the small food court, Collins excused himself giving Angel a kiss on the head. Angel, in his absence, wheeled around looking at pieces of Roman columns and the like.

Collins exited the bathroom in relief, with every intention of marching right back up the stairs to the Fall of Rome and after-fall of Angel. However, he couldn't resist the voice he heard when it implored him, "Free samples!"

--

Meanwhile, Mark, Joanne and Maureen were taking in the sights of medieval weaponry. There were flails, whips, axes, swords, bows and arrows, and many other very scary implements of war. Definitely the wrong place for people who kept having such ghastly accidents.

Mark rolled his eyes and tried to occupy himself while Maureen and a revived Joanne were arguing. Joanne was saying, "I'm fine, Maureen. I don't need the damn wheelchair." She was talking mostly out of hurt and shock (however literal that may be).

"Pookie," Maureen protested, "take it easy. The first aid guy said you might have tremors for several hours. And headaches."

Joanne rolled her eyes, slowing propelling herself out of the wheelchair. "Yeah, let's listen to the eighteen-year-old who took one first aid course in trade school," she sarcastically said.

"Where are you going?" Maureen cried, as Joanne limped strenuously away.

"To the bathroom," Joanne replied. "I have to go see if I look okay."

Maureen sighed and turned to Mark, who was patiently minding his own business. "Women," Maureen said.

"Yeah," Mark agreed, humoring her.

--

Mimi and Roger were still going at it, and had yet to realize what they were sitting on. Finally, not being able to take it anymore, the man Mimi had sat on said, "Excuse me, but you're making out on me."

This scared the poor couple out of their wits, not expecting the bench they had chosen to already have a person sitting on it. Mimi jumped off the man's lap and said, "I'm so sorry! I didn't see you there."

"Obviously," he said, rolling his eyes.

Roger could only stare at the guy, incredulously as he said, "Why didn't you say anything? We've been making out on top of you for ten minutes!"

The man shrugged. "It was hot."

Mimi and Roger, disgusted and wanting to punch the guy's lights out, decided to leave and be disgusted elsewhere.

--

Angel was admiring an ancient Roman vase when Collins appeared out of nowhere, jarring her out of her mind. Holding her throbbing heart and shifting her panging bottom, she exclaimed, "Baby, you scared me! What's up?"

Collins, a mild look of insanity in his eye, said, "Can I have twenty dollars??"

Angel miraculously pulled out another twenty. "Yeah, but—"

"Thanks!" Collins cried, snatching the bill and kissing her forehead. He took off back toward the café.

"What in the world…." Angel mused, shaking her head as he gleefully ran downstairs.

--

Maureen stood next to Mark, wondering when her pookie would return. She gave a worried sigh as she glanced toward the stairwell. She probably shouldn't have let her go on her own. What if she had collapsed from tremors? What if she had cracked her head open? But, then again, what if Maureen nervously went to check on her and Joanne got offended for her thinking she couldn't take care of herself?

"Oh, Markie!" she wailed, suddenly latching onto the poor boy. "I'm so worried!"

Mark, not expecting her to suddenly glomp him, cried out in surprise and lost his balance, launching both of them into a suit of armor. This said suit toppled onto its side, which caused its sword to vault out of its hand, causing all the weapons in the room to start a chain reaction. Mark and Maureen panicked, screaming in terror as arrows whizzed by their hands and swords were thrown, and a general sense of chaos filled the air.

"OW!" Maureen shrieked when one of the arrows clipped her arm.

"Ahh!" Mark cried as the first knight's sword came back and landed on his foot. "I've been stabbed!" he yelled, dramatically, though the sword had merely pierced his shoe.

"Oh, shut up, Mark!" Maureen snapped, carefully removing the arrow from her arm. "I got shot!"

"What is this?" Mark demanded. "The museum of exciting but slow and indefinite death??"

Maureen sniffled at the pinprick of blood that flowed from her arm. "I need a Band-Aid," she said, sadly.

"Let's go to first aid," Mark suggested, gently putting his hand on her back to guide her. "They'll help us out."

--

Joanne reemerged from the bathroom, feeling better about her appearance. She had washed off the ashy spots that had turned her face and arms to a dark, smoky color, and now looked back to normal. Except for her hair, which under no amount of trying would lay down normally.

Leaving the area, she became confused as to which hallway she had come from. Shrugging when she saw an "EXIT" door, she went through it to find a pitch-black corridor. Against her better judgement, Joanne continued down the hall, groping the wall for support in case there was a bend or stairwell. Unfortunately, what she ran across was a sudden drop, and Joanne plummeted thirty feet into darkness.

--

Angel, lonesome and fearful for Collins' return, squeaked in surprise when the man came out of nowhere again and abruptly started pushing her along in the wheelchair. "Collins," she gasped, "you scared me again." Getting no response, she wondered suspiciously, "What's going on? What did you use that twenty dollars for?"

"It's really delicious," Collins said, dazedly. "The best thing I ever tasted. I have to have more." They started down the wheelchair accessible ramp. "You've gotta go buy me some more! I'm so broke." His eyes filled with tears of longing.

Angel, feeling a pang of sympathy in her heart and a pang of hurt in her bottom, gracefully volunteered another twenty from her stash of never-ending money. "Here, honey," she said, softly. "If it makes you happy, go ahead and get some more."

"Yarrr!!" Collins exclaimed, sounding much like a pirate. He took the money and ran off ahead of Angel toward the food court. This left Angel going down the ramp, her speed accelerating to a frightening pace.

Collins barely heard the cries of "COLLINS!!! I'M GOING DOWN AN INCLINE!! HOW DO YOU SLOW THIS THING DOWN?? COLLINS!!!!" But he did hear the crashing of glass and the scream of terror, which was enough to shake him out of his stupor.

Thoughts of the perfect candy vanished from his mind as he turned around and saw the broken window at the bottom of the ramp and the empty wheelchair on its side, wheels spinning. "Angel!" he cried, running toward the window.

Luckily for Angel, the window didn't lead to a two-story drop but to a small greenhouse. Unluckily for Angel, she had landed in a cactus.

Collins stepped through the broken window and said, "Oh my god, I'm so sorry." He was determined not to laugh, even though the situation was pretty funny. "Are you okay?"

Angel snappily replied, "Oh sure!" She waved her hands about, sitting on the cactus like it were a stool, which didn't help Collins to control his mirth. "I have a broken butt, and now I'm _sitting_ in a _cactus_!"

Collins cleverly turned a smile of amusement into a smile of apology as he reached down to pry Angel out of the plant. She cried out as some of the needles stayed with the cactus and some stayed with her. Unable to stand upright without the sharp pins digging in deeper, she remained at half-mast, so to speak as she slowly and carefully walked far away from all the cacti.

"Help me," she seethed at Collins, who was glad her back was turned to him, as he could no longer control the smile that spread across his face.

"Okay," he said, and began the painful process of slowly picking each and every one of the prickly needles out of Angel's butt.

--

Mark and Maureen left the first aid room, only needing one bandage, and went forth to find Joanne.

"She's definitely been gone to long," Maureen remarked. "It isn't like her to just disappear."

Mark shrugged. "Maybe she got tired and went home."

"She would've told me first!" Maureen insisted. "She knows it worries me if she goes off and doesn't say anything…"

Mark rolled his eyes to himself. "Well, you check the bathroom and I'll check back at the weaponry exhibit….the one that we destroyed."

"Hey, if all that happened so easily, it was bound to happen anyway," Maureen said.

"If we don't find her soon, I'll meet you in the lecture hall at five," Mark said, as he walked back upstairs.

--

Joanne shook her head to relieve the pain. Thankfully, a mattress had broken her fall. Strange, it was almost as if it had been left there for her, as if someone was expecting her. She stood up, happy to find no further injuries, and walked toward the only light she saw. It appeared to be a small desk lamp, set next to someone's office. It was creepy to think that someone would work down in this dark cavern.

"Hello," a sinister voice said, startling Joanne. She hadn't expected to find anyone. "I've been waiting."

"Y-you have?" Joanne wondered, frightened. She stopped moving, not knowing what to expect.

"Yes, of course," the voice continued. Out of the shadows beside the desk, walked a man, short, hunched over. "What with our history together, I knew eventually you'd end up right here, right where I want you. And now there's no escape."

Joanne began to shake in terror. She didn't recognize the voice and shuddered at what he planned to do. "Look, I-I know I'm not supposed to be down here…."

"Oh, of course you are," the man cut her off. "And now you're going to pay for what you've done to me, Joan."

"Joan?" she repeated. "My name's Joanne."

A pause of silence, then, "Oh, my mistake, I'm so sorry." He flipped a switch, illuminating the room. Joanne squinted at the sudden light and saw that they were in a storage room with old exhibits and empty boxes. The man wasn't quite so frightening in the light, but he was short and hunched over.

"What is this place?" she asked.

"Look, pretend you didn't see this," he said. "I'm still waiting for Joan to show up. She keyed my car last Tuesday, and she's not getting away with it. She owes my four hundred dollars." He opened a door that went back into the museum. "Sorry about the confusion."

Joanne said something like, "It's no problem," as she ran off into the museum, terrified out of her mind.

--

Mimi sat fidgeting in the lecture hall, bored once again. She wondered where the rest of the group was, having lost Roger to the bathroom ten minutes ago. But, since the lecture was starting in a few minutes, she figured she might as well wait. She was surprised, however, that Angel hadn't already gotten there, having thought that she would have been sitting in the front row for half an hour like a teeny-bopping groupie.

Shattering her thoughts, Mark came into the door, rather swiftly and looked around nervously. He made brief eye contact with Mimi, and then all but dove behind the podium, barely shielding himself from sight. Confused, Mimi said, "Mark? What's wrong?" to which he merely shushed her.

Moments later, Roger came in, looking around, but not at all nervously. "Where's Mark?" he asked. Mimi silently pointed to the podium. Roger hopped onto the stage and said, "Mark, come on out of there." No response. "Come on, man, I'm….I'm sorry. I won't let it happen again. Come on, can't you take a joke? I was just messing with you….."

Slowly Mark began to appear from behind the podium, looking frightened at Roger, but still taking in his sincerity and beginning to stand upright. Just as he was clear from the safety of his podium, Roger grabbed him by the arm and pulled him toward himself. "Don't you ever make me wait that long again!" Roger yelled, as he began dry-humping the cameraman.

--

"Mimi, Mimi!!" a voice cried, waking her. "It's about to start!"

Mimi rubbed her eyes to the sound of Angel's squeals. "Oh my god, that was some dream," she murmured.

Angel sat beside her, the poor thing still enjoying herself for all she was worth, despite the things that kept happening to her bottom. She had one arm linked with Mimi, and the other linked with Collins, who was shivering from withdrawal. Maureen comfortingly patted Joanne's hand on the other side of Mimi, whispering sweet things of serenity to the frightened lawyer. Roger sat with Mark, the two engaged in (not dry-humping but) conversation.

Angel shushed the group, who were sadly the only people present in the lecture hall, when a man entered and went atop the stage. "Hi," he said into the microphone. "I'm so happy to see that you have all come out to see Margo Fletcher's Hat Lecture series." He smiled amiably at the bohemians. "Unfortunately, Ms. Fletcher has recently come down with a mild case of addiction, something about candy and a gypsy. But, I assure you, if you would like to attend her next lecture in sunny Coconut Beach, she will be more than able to give it then." He left the room without another word.

Slowly, everyone turned to stare at Angel, whose eye was twitching furiously. Mimi rubbed her arm, in an attempt to soothe the upset she was sure would occur. However, Angel merely took a deep breath and said, "I love the beach."

--

NoV: Yes, the end! I hope you liked, and now you know I have to write a sequel. I had too much fun writing this one to not continue! So next time, (in another story) the gang will visit the beach. Muahaha!


End file.
